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[The sweetest baby unicorn who just so happens to have grown up in a grimdark blood and murder fucking nightmare]

Wh- of course they are. They're things that people have. Like the chickenpox, but you can't see it. But once you have it you always have it.

[WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT LIBBY?]

Of course I've had talks. What do you think we're doing right now?

[He is such a contradiction.

Libby literally has her face in her hands, hunched over her comm in her vent nest.]

I am ruining you. I am lit ruining--

[She takes a deep, slow breath.]

Cooties so do not exist and I mean--like--the birds and the bees.

[There is the longest pause on his end.]

I know what birds and bees are, Libby.

[Have a pause right back, James.]

Sex.

[Ha

ha

ha

ha

ha

ha

ha.]

What, like gender?

[yeah]

[She is jumping out the airlock.]

Can you--just hang on a sec, I have to call--you're chill with Howard and Bucky, yeah?

[HE DOESN'T GET WHAT'S GOING ON]

... Yeah? They're okay.

[DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEAD.]

'Kay.

[A few minutes and frantic messages later, Libby returns.]

Cooties dont't exist. I know this. That's just--no.

[But he's so confused.]

But they're- that's what people get when they, y'know. Kiss.

[And sometimes it's okay but other times you can get sick from them. And James has a sinking suspicion that they're what causes that whole baby mess.]

No.

[Please don't tell her that, James, if she thinks you think you can knock her up with kissing she may actually perish.]

Just--trust me on this, I've kissed way more people than you.

[Annnd now it's even more awkward, because she vaguely suspects telling the guy you're sort of hanging out with you're a tramp is bad.]

What do you even think they do?

[He doesn't even know about pregnancy so. Uh. You're... safe?]

... You have?

[Not that he's judging, he just... suddenly feels a little nervous, now. No wonder she ran, then. He didn't even do anything and she was... kissing him, probably expecting something and he didn't do anything other than sit there.

Wow he's stupid.]

I don't- they give people rashes, make them sick. Tony said they can even give sores and kill people, if they're the bad kind. [In other words: how Tony Stark explained STDs to a curious child before he set the search limits on JOCASTA's databases.] There are ones that are okay, though. And since I don't... I mean, I'm not sick, so you probably have the good kind. Or something.

You're the best person I've kissed.

[Because she's possessive and protective and fierce, and that note of James' hesitation triggers all of that--he doesn't get to feel unsure, she won't let him.

And then, so help her, she softens.]

Oh. Well--thanks, um--that's rad. If--I have the good kind. Yeah.

Do you want to watch a movie with me?

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